Immovable Object
Mario’s tee shot on the 13th hole hooks wildly into an adjoining fairway. Despite his loud and clear “fore” call, the ball strikes another golfer in the head and fells him on the spot.
Mario and his playing partner, Timothy, race to attend to the poor fellow. He is clearly unconscious, with Mario’s ball lying between his knees.
“Oh my God!” Mario exclaims. “What should we do?”
“Whatever you do, don’t touch him,” Timothy advises. “That way, you can declare him an immovable object and take a free drop.”
The New Guy
With an open spot in his weekly foursome, Wilbur invites his friend Nate to join the group. After introductions, Wilbur’s regular partners ask him discreetly, “Is your friend any good?”
“He’s very good,” Wilbur assures them.
On the first hole, Nate hits an ugly slice into a thicket of bushes. Wilbur’s buddy Stan jokingly jabs him in the ribs. “Just wait,” Wilbur whispers, “you’ll see.” Sure enough, Nate rips his approach out of the brush and onto the green, two-putting for a routine par.
On the next hole, Nate’s drive finds the middle of a water hazard, followed by more eye-rolling from Wilbur’s pals. The group is baffled when Nate wades into the pond and disappears. Three minutes later, as the men begin to panic, Nate’s hand sticks straight up from the water.
“He’s drowning, Wilbur!” Stan cries. “Go in there and get him!”
“No, no,” Wilbur says calmly. “He just wants me to toss him a 5-iron.”
