The Ultimate Evil
The devil was not happy. There was far too much goodwill on earth, so he called a meeting of demons.
“What a useless bunch of sissies!” he thundered at them, showing the demons a montage of humans smiling, sharing and helping one another. “Jesus is doing all this good in the world, and you just sit here playing and joking around! I want pain and suffering and endless, unendurable torture!
“So tell me, what do you plan to do about this situation?”
A young demon spoke up timidly. “My lord, Prince of Darkness, may I please make a suggestion?”
The devil nodded his head.
“If we could build up people’s strength, confidence and self-worth, then destroy it in a single stroke, their anguish would be overwhelming,” the young demon offered. “At that point, we would exercise ultimate control.”
As the youngster finished, an elder demon chimed in. “It sounds like you’re talking about introducing golf to the entire planet,” he said. “That’s brilliant!”
The devil waved his hand dismissively. “No, no, no” he said. “That would finish them off too quickly.”
Jesus Woods
Jesus and Moses are playing their first round of golf together. The fourth hole is a par 3, 175 yards and all carry over a lake. Moses hits a 6-iron and sticks it 10 feet from the flag.
Seeing Jesus pull a 7-iron from his bag, Moses says, “That’s not enough club. You’ll just hit it in the water.”
“I don’t think so, Moses,” Jesus says confidently. “If Tiger Woods can do it, then so can I.”
Jesus swings smoothly and knocks the ball right into the drink, eliciting an I-told-you-so smirk from his partner. Jesus swings a little harder on his second try, but the result is the same. Finally, after emptying a full dozen into the lake, Jesus strolls across the water to find his golf balls.
A foursome drives up to the tee, their mouths agape. “Who does he think he is,” one of them asks Moses, “Jesus Christ?”
“He is Jesus Christ,” Moses chuckles. “But he thinks he’s Tiger Woods.”
