Not every great golf line is uttered by someone famous. These anonymous jewels are sure to tickle the funny bone:
- “I don’t want to accuse him of cheating, but once he had a hole-in-one and scored it as a zero.”
- “Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one.”
- “Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.”
- “When primitive tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.”
- “The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get his mind off golf.”
- “Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.”
- “There are three ways to lower your golf score: take lessons, practice constantly, or start cheating.”
- “Real golfers have two handicaps: one for bragging and one for betting.”
- “Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh.”
- “Golf is a game invented by God to punish guys who retire early.”
- “Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.”
- “You know you're a hack when your divot flies farther than your ball.”
- “My game is so bad I had to have my ball retriever re-gripped.”
- “Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well.”
- “Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed.”
- “If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.”
- “How is golf like fishing? Both mysteriously encourage exaggeration.”
- “Golf is what you play when you're too out of shape for softball.”
“You know it's too wet to play golf when your cart capsizes.”
