It’s Spelled F-U-T-I-L-I-T-Y
A school teacher, in the middle of her first putting lesson, asked the instructor, “Is the word spelled p-u-t, or p-u-t-t?”
“It’s spelled p-u-t-t,” he replied. “To put means to place an object in a particular spot. To putt means to try in vain to do the same thing.”
Oh, Get Lost
Playing as a single, Maurice is preparing to hit his first tee shot. A man in a cheap suit and a name tag reading “Gil” rushes up. “Sir, excuse me!” Gil exclaims as Maurice stops mid-backswing. “Don’t hit before you see this amazing golf ball.”
“Fine,” Maurice says, clearly annoyed. “But make it quick.”
“Thank you, sir,” Gil says. “You see, this golf ball is impossible to lose.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Maurice scoffs. “What if you hit into a water hazard?”
“Actually, the ball floats,” Gil responds proudly. “Plus, it senses the shore and spins toward dry land.”
Maurice, still skeptical, says, “OK, what if it goes into the woods?”
“No problem,” Gil answers. “The ball beeps so you can locate it right away.”
“Pretty cool” Maurice admits. “But what if it gets dark while you’re playing?”
“Ah,” Gil emotes triumphantly, “it also glows in the dark! I told you, this ball is impossible to lose.”
“Well I’ll be darned,” Maurice says, finally impressed. “May I ask where you got it?”
“Yeah, see, the thing about that it is,” Gil stammers, “I found it.”
