Weed Wacker Funny Golf Joke

Heavenly Tee Time

Weed Wacker, US Open Golf Joke

Joe's best friend, Harry, dies one night in his sleep. The next week, Harry's ghost visits Joe and tells him there's good news and bad news.

"The good news is, there's an amazing golf course in heaven," Harry says. "It's like St. Andrews, Pebble Beach and Augusta National rolled into one!"

"That sounds incredible," Joe marvels. "What's the bad news?"

Replies Harry: "You've got a tee time this Sunday."

In Need of a Rescue Club

Weed Wacker, US Open Golf Joke 3

Tim and Justin are playing an amazing new golf course in Hawaii. Ocean views, tee shots off mountainsides, beautiful waterfalls – this place has it all.

On the seventh tee, Tim hits a huge slice into a brush-covered ravine. Rather than take a drop, he grabs a pitching wedge and plunges into the thicket. It’s dark and rugged down there, and Tim is about to call off the search when a glint catches his eye. Stepping toward the object, he’s horrified to find a skeleton clutching a wedge, with an old golf ball stuck under its blade.

Tim, startled but unbowed, calls out to his partner. “Hey Justin, toss me a 9-iron!”

“I thought you already had a club,” Justin replies.

“I do,” Tim says, “but you can’t get out of here with a wedge.”