Not to be mistaken for the Rules of Golf established by the game’s governing bodies, the Laws of Golf are administered by the arbitrary yet all-powerful golf gods.
Here are a few more, many of which you should recognize:
- Golf is 90% mental. The rest? Also mental.
- Poor shots occur in groups of three. A fourth poor shot in succession is, in fact, the first of a new set of three.
- Any time you lift your head early and hit a bad shot, you will cast your eyes downward at the precise moment your ball enters the trees or scrub. You will not find the ball.
- If you make a mid-round swing change, expect it to work for as many as three holes, or as few as zero.
- In golf, “rock bottom” is a meaningless term. You can always play worse.
- The brain can hold a maximum of 250 swing thoughts at once.
- A golfer who claims to never cheat is also a liar.
- There are two options when you fear hitting into a group on the green ahead: 1) Avoid the possibility and shank a layup. 2) Wait for the group to leave the green, then top your attempt to reach it.
- If it ain’t broke, change your stance and posture.
- Still away? Then it’s not a gimme.
- Match play pits your skill against an opponent’s luck.
- You will hole a remarkable percentage of 40-foot putts when lying at least 7.
- On the golf course, the shortest distance between any two points is a direct line through a massive tree.
- Aim at a two-acre fairway and you will hit it 10% of the time. Aim away from a two-inch branch and you will hit it 90% of the time.
- Each birdie will be immediately followed by a triple-bogey. This assures that the universe remains in equilibrium.
- If you want to hit an 8-iron 175 yards like a pro golfer, just use it to lay up short of a water hazard that’s 170 yards away.
