Mike and Tom have played golf together for years, but always allowed a little lie improvement if necessary. One day, they decide to play the ball as it lies, even from divots, footprints, etc.
On the seventh hole Mike pushes his drive, and the ball stops in the middle of a cart path. As Mike reaches for his ball to take relief, Tom stops him. “Oh no,” he says. “We agreed to play the ball down, no matter what.”
Mike objects, noting that he’s allowed a free drop under the rules. “Not today, pal,” Tom replies.
Shaking his head and grumbling under his breath, Mike grabs a club and returns to his ball, where he takes several practice swings – lightly grazing the concrete each time. He then takes a mighty rip, sending sparks flying and the ball onto the green within three feet of the pin.
“Great shot!” Tom exclaims. “What club did you hit?”
Mike responds with a wry grin, “Your 8-iron.”
Do I Have to Spell it Out?
Lenny, Carl and Chuck are playing with their club’s head pro, Jim. On the first tee, Lenny hits a wild hook into the woods. “What caused that, Jim?” he asks the pro.
“LOFT,” the pro replies.
Next up, Carl carves a wicked slice into a pond. “What’s my problem, Jim?”
Again, the pro says simply, “LOFT.”
Chuck’s tee shot never leaves the ground, stopping 40 yards away. Disgusted, he turns to the pro and asks, “What about me? Why did I do that?”
With a shrug, Jim answers, “LOFT.”
Frustrated, Lenny confronts the pro. “So I hit a hook, Carl slices his drive and Chuck hits a worm burner, and you say LOFT is the problem on every one. What the heck do you mean?”
“LOFT,” Jim laughs, “means Lack Of Friggin’ Talent.”