A couple of friends are out for an evening nine when they spot two women on the first tee in front of them. Thinking the ladies will slow the pace, one golfer goes to ask if they'll kindly allow his twosome to play through.
Halfway to the tee, he turns abruptly and heads back to the cart. "What's the matter?" his buddy asks.
"Small problem," the ashen-faced man replies. "One of them is my wife. The other is my mistress."
"Oh, wow," his friend says. "That's some coincidence."
Don't Open that Door
A married couple tee off on the sixth hole of their favorite golf course. The husband hits a huge slice, which rolls into an old barn. After finding the ball just inside the barn, he goes to pick it up and take a drop.
"Hang on, honey," his wife says. "I'll go hold the other door open while you hit through it. You'll have a straight line back to the fairway." The husband smiles and nods, and she heads to the end of the barn. Unfortunately, his shot is a wild line drive that strikes his wife in the temple. She drops dead on the spot.
The man eventually remarries and, three years later, encounters the exact same situation with his new wife. "Don't take a drop," she implores him. "I can hold the door open and you can hit your ball back in play."
"No way, babe," he says with a look of deep regret. "I tried that one time and made a triple bogey."